It's weird...I was doing dishes last night (no, that's not the weird part, but it is unusual for me to do dishes) and a thought popped into my head. As much as I whine and moan about my current job, I'm VERY comfortable there. Never have I had a job where I can be myself 100%. Sure, in high school jobs I could, but I mean in my adult life.
Working at big offices and call centers, I've always tried to put on a 'professional persona'...almost having 2 people in my head. I remember thinking that way sometimes while I was on those jobs. It's like I had to morph into someone else to be successful and to look ready for the next promotion. I'm sure it was all in my head that I had to be someone else, but that someone else did get promotions and compliments and I was looked up to by a lot of co-workers. Management loved me and wanted my input. I used to think: geez, if these people only knew who and how I really was they'd see the nervous, backwards band-geek on the inside.
Fast forward several years and I finally get a job close to home that actually pays well. Yeah, I'm still the same dual personality at first, but over the last 2 (nearly 3) years, I've melded back into being just me...or maybe a nice mix of my 2 personas. I'm comfortable around management and I can speak my mind and act how I want to act. It's a much smaller office than I was used to (6 direct co-workers instead of 96) and I think that's helped my phsyco mind reconcile with my professional mind.
**froggy**
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